6000 Excessively Complex Steps to E-mail Marketing

“The time has come,” the Paulrus said,
“To blog of many things:
Of life–and socks–and Disneyland–
Of comedians–and springs–
And how Mel Gibson lost his cool–
And why Paris Hilton shouldn’t sing.”

In perusing the internet this week, as I do almost professionally, I’ve found that e-mail marketing is actually a very popular blogging topic.  Why I thought this is information that is applicable to my loyal readers I will never know.  I often find myself writing anything and everything I think and I thought this was exactly that.  ANYWAY!  On to more important things, like editing and uuuuhhh cute animals?

“Hey Paul, your last article was ridiculously long and I didn’t make it all the way through, wanna keep this one shorter?”"YES!” I say excitedly, “I agree, which is why this entry will be full of distractions to keep you entertained.  Oh, and I’ll keep it short too, fear not.”

As I was saying, editing: throughout the process of making your e-mail it is important to constantly check and double check things so as to ensure perfection.  I know most of you are able to pump out perfection first time through in anything you do but this blog article isn’t aimed at you.  For you, I suggest 200 more fist push-ups for good measure then go hit the bars or clubs or whatever it is you cool kids do.  The rest of us will go over the thousand easy steps I’ve laid out to ensure our e-mails end up as we intended.

Step 1: “I’m givin’ it all she’s got!”
A very important step in making sure your e-mail says what you want it to is ensuring your computer is on.  I can safely assume that if you’ve made it this far that step has been completed stupendously well.  As a reward, here’s a link.

Step 2: Computers are people too.
Not really.  One of the biggest problems e-mail marketing companies, as well as individuals have, is getting stopped by spam filters.  One easy way to avoid this is to not used harvested lists.  Basically all you have to do is before you upload a list or enter the addresses, check to make sure they’re to specific people and not things like info@, sales@, support@, etc.

Step 3: Re-reading great works only makes them better.
And what could be greater than my past articles?!  Just to save you some time, because I’m so nice, here’s a link to the one you should re-read to ensure fantastic work, much like mine (I say humbly).

I believe LeVar Burton says this the best so I want all of you to imagine him when reading: “But don’t take my word for it.”